Quiet Leaders Listen for Potential – Step 2

Step Two – Listen for Potential (Quiet Leadership – David Rock)

This step is recognizing that people have their own agendas or filters that they view life through.  These may be based on their upbringing, their experiences, their education, etc.  Regardless we tend to give advice to others based on these filters.   We also need to recognize that perspective plays a big role in influencing thoughts.  David Rock provides an example of a young girl who is thinking about changing her career.   She is addressing friends and family who each have their own experiences, filters, perspectives and agendas.  So in this case the parents are looking at the problem as parents, the doctor from the view-point of health, the psychologist from his view etc.  The point being that no one thought to view the situation from the girl’s point of view.  They were not “Listening for Potential”.  They all made the assumption that she needed help or that she had a problem.

When we are listening to someone our brains are working at finding order.  Since we have memories we tend to predict what will happen next.  This predictive state involves our neurons sending signals alerting the brain in advance of actually receiving the data input.   When we receive the data it is compared to what we anticipated happening.  This is the primary function of the neocortex or our higher level thinking.  What this means in this example is that when we listen to people we listen in a manner that proves our existing theories about that person.

Let’s say you have an employee that you believe is a low performer based on an experience you had with that employee.  Going forward you will have predict the outcome of a conversation before it is even finished.  You are not listening for the potential in the conversation, but you are allowing your predictive mind to guide your thoughts.

When you change or become aware of your own listening habits you can make the shift to listen for potential in that person believing that the person has the capability to answer their own questions.  As a Quiet Leader you are developing a better to listen, one that encourages, supports and see the best in people.

When I was reading this chapter I thought a lot about how we treat little children.  As they grow and develop we don’t solve every problem for them.  We support their intellectual growth by allowing them to experiment and come up with solutions on their own.  A child that wants the cookie on the counter top will solve the problem themselves by finding a chair to climb up on.  Adults are no different.

It may be hard to listen for potential if you are under a time frame or if you are personally attached to the situation.  However, there is “clarity of distance” as Rock calls it.   When we back away we are able to see things more clearly.  The forest for the trees, if you will.   We can get lost in detail, misguided by our own agendas and filters.  I know many people who say they are active listeners.  This may be true, but are they listening for potential?

When Listening for Potential, you are positioning yourself and the person you are speaking with for success.  Success that the person will find the solution for themselves with a bit of guidance and support from you.  You don’ have to have all the answers, and shouldn’t.  As a leader you are helping people to grow.

Working Through Life Transistion – Answering the Question, What Do I Want To Do With My Life?

It never ceases to amaze me the creativity that people have and the wonderful ideas that they have that are never acted upon.  I was coaching a client that is going through a life transition.  They are asking the same question that many of us ask, “What do I want to do with my life?”   If I had a dollar for every time I have heard this, I just might be rich!  Regardless of my financial state, I still enjoying helping people unlock the potential within them.

I truly believe that each of us has some idea of what we want to do with our lives; the problem comes from thinking that it won’t be acceptable to our family, friends or society.  Perhaps it is a far fetched idea and no one will think it is a good idea.  Maybe we have the baggage of hearing the voices that said we have to be practical and earn a living.  We can’t waste time daydreaming.  We have to find a respectable job that can support ourselves and our family.  All good things to think of and consider.  But, what is the biggest thing we have to lose?   Putting ourselves out there and giving something a try!  Fear of failure holds many people back and leaves them asking the all important question “What do I want to do with my life?”

If you find yourself asking this question, there is a simple solution. Take a chance and dare to dream.   Sky is the limit, what would you do if there were no boundaries?  Then start making a list of all the things those things.  The ones that put the biggest smile on your face are the ones you should look deeper into.  You might just find that you know what you what to do with your life!